• Poetry,  Writing

    Poem: Goodbyes

    Goodbyes.

    These tiny moments
    Reflecting parting of souls
    Painful echos in our memory
    Momentary small glitches
    These evanescent seconds
    Never reminiscing
    Never recorded
    In the abyss of our vast mind

    I conjure your silhouette
    Inside of me
    The scent of you
    Tranquils my soul
    In these exasperating times
    Universe is reminding us
    Once again
    We look up at the sky
    Clouds are waving down at me
    Rays of sunshine
    Embrace me
    Comfort my soul
    Just like you
    Used to do.

    Peace and Love,
    Kimmi Sandhu

  • Poetry,  Writing

    Poem: Jigsaw Puzzle.

    Listen. To the silence.
    The space, between souls.
    Feel. Beating of the hearts.
    Across, space and time.
    Between satellites.
    We’re transmitting. Emotions.
    Feelings of love, pain and hurt.
    There is no trust. It’s broken.
    Gather up my pieces.
    Hand them over, to you.
    Just like a jigsaw puzzle.
    The healing has begun.
    One piece at a time.

    The people recluse to their spaces.
    Time, what is time?
    Waiting, endlessly. For an answer.
    Someone to hold hostage.
    When will they,
    Give our freedom back?
    Calling out in vain.
    Voices heard.
    But no one answered.
    Not even you.
    Swimming backwards.
    Blood red sea.
    Searching for the shore.
    Waiting for the dawn.
    Knocking on the door.
    Bring me back. To you.

    Peace and Love,
    Kimmi

  • beauty,  Inspiration,  Music,  Personal

    Just a reminder…

    Just heard this song again after some years, and it sparked an emotion in me that I recognise a lot. We need to stop being so hard on ourselves for not being enough. I need to remind myself every now and then. It’s not only about vanity and looks, it’s about people not recognising you for being yourself and doing your best even in the hardest times. It’s easy to judge from afar, but you can never know what’s going on in someone’s life and how they are dealing with their hardships. We walk around with a smile on our faces even in times of pain. Sometimes we just need to be able to take off that mask, and be free.

  • Poetry,  Writing

    Poem: Windows to your Soul

    Memories remain
    Etched in my brain
    The windows to your soul
    Looking right through me
    Witnessing,
    My heart beating in tune
    With yours

    The reasons remain
    Buried deep inside
    No need to speak
    No need to explain
    To our souls
    They already know
    Telepathically
    Transmitting
    Messages of another world
    Another universe.

    Peace and Love,

    Kimmi Sandhu

  • Dreams,  Personal,  Thoughts,  travel

    Roots | Mumbai Diaries

    Roots. What a peculiar thing that can affect us so much when we least expect them to. I thought I had worked through a lot of my inner struggles with roots and identity by this age but I was so wrong. Why do I keep coming back to this country, why can’t I let it go? My father left India almost 50 years ago and I as an adult keep coming back as if something is pulling me here. Is there a stronger energy at play here that wants me coming back? What is the purpose of me feeling this way? 

    There are two days left of my trip and the emotions are already building up, that I am going back and leaving this behind. Once again, just like any other year, I am travelling back to Sweden. My home. Don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful for my life in Sweden and that’s all I have ever known to be my home. But I have never felt that I fully belong there, there’s just that big chunk of both my heart and soul never able to belong to Sweden and it is always left behind in India. I come back to try to find my pieces every year to try to feel whole. I have also started to accept that it might be difficult for anything to ever fill that void of never belonging anywhere. The trick is to find ways to cope with this empty feeling. 

    When I land in Sweden and travel back to my apartment on the smooth empty highways, it’s always a bittersweet feeling. I feel emotional over the fact that I have left something behind but at the same time I am embracing what is so familiar to me. The life in Sweden. What gets to me each time, is that I notice that my clothes smell like India and the scent of Sweden is so different. The air is much lighter. There are no noises from traffic, no unnecessary honking going on. One would think that it’s something you’d never miss about India, but it’s exactly these things that make India come alive. It’s never sleeping and you learn to be mindful and unbothered by the scents, the noise, the crowd and everything that happens at once. Once you get mindful and one with it all, it creates this feeling of presence and bliss that we have all heard people mesmerised with India talk about. The hippies. 

    Even right now when I am typing this, I am sitting in my bedroom in our shared flat and the windows are closed. But you can hear everything from the streets four floors down in the middle of the city centre of Colaba, Mumbai. During a few wee hours in the night it goes quiet before the city wakes up to the organised chaos. I am not someone who easily get attached to places, I like to keep my memories of people and places normally and that is what I bring with me everywhere I go. But there has always been something with Mumbai that has pulled me in. I believe it’s the contrast between the rest of India that I’ve seen (which is not much compared to how much is left to see) and the India that exists in Mumbai. There’s a vibe in this town that is hard to match elsewhere. Perhaps I am a romantic Pisces that only likes to focus on these pink cloudy thoughts whenever I describe this town, but I am positive that I am not the only one who thinks this way. Obviously it’s not the jammed traffic, the high air pollution and crowded areas that make you love this city. It’s what language it speaks to you when you listen carefully with your ears and your heart. What is the soul of this place? Does it connect with you? Why?

  • Poetry,  Writing

    Poem: Crown energy

    Energies flow
    From the base
    Through my crown
    Streams like the river
    Connect our strings
    From north to south
    No matter where we are
    Eternal desire awake us
    From our lucid dreaming
    Moments like this
    Last forever in our core
    Our union soul.

    Peace and love,

    Kimmi Sandhu

  • travel

    Open skies | Mumbai Diaries

    When I look up at the sky in the evening darkness I can still see the moon and the stars, despite the amount of air pollution contaminating the air. The breezy air flowing through my hair as I walk down the beach is captivating my senses. I don’t want to turn back. I want to just stay in this moment, where I can just be, me. Utterly grateful for the life I live and the people I have in my life who means the world to me. When you’re one moment away from losing your place on this earth you become very aware of what drives you in life and who you want to keep close. The near-death experiences can really remind you what is in front of you and important and what you need to let go of. What is no longer serving you. Who do you want to hug extra tightly? If today was my last day, would I be happy with the life I am leading? Have I told you how much you mean to me?

    To be continued…

    Peace and love,
    Kimmi Sandhu

    PS. I write small pieces of writing when the inspiration strikes me throughout this trip to Mumbai, India. Follow this every day to see a new post, there is always something on my mind to let out in to the world.

  • Personal,  Thoughts,  travel

    My roots | Mumbai Diaries

    My roots have long been malnourished and fragile, protected against outer influence. I have found my way back to watering them and slowly but surely they are growing stronger and establishing ground in places I never could have imagined. The journey to getting here has been long and lonely. When the tree is starting to blossom, not many would know the effort and pain it took to grow the tree so fertile so that flowers can bloom. The result can be intimidating just like inner growth. I didn’t realise what I have been missing in my life; a sense of belonging. I have always stood out and been the rebel for so long, that it becomes your identity. It becomes what you expect because there is no room for just being you. When you find your way back to your roots, you’ll never look back again. I wish I could have told this to my confused and suicidal teenage self. Things wouldn’t have had to be this hard.

    To be continued…

    Peace and love,

    Kimmi Sandhu

  • Health,  Personal,  Thoughts,  travel,  Writing

    Silent scream | Mumbai Diaries

    The silent crack between my teeth after I had just bitten into a peanut that was inside a Punjabi Samosa, was sounding louder in my head than to anyone else. I knew what was wrong. The apparently nut-free samosa had deadly peanuts inside of them. I was sitting by the palm trees along the beach near Marine Drive at a café. So far away from any hospital and so far away from knowing what I would do if anything severe happened. Million thoughts always run through my head in these moments, and it might sound like a cliche but it’s very true. I believe I am not the only nut allergic person who have these near-death aha moments.
    – What if this is it? This is the moment when I die.
    – Do the people I love know that I love them? Near, far and everyone in between. I’m not even close to being good at expressing my love for certain people in my life and what they mean to me.
    After such an experience I become very emotional and mellow, as if I don’t know anymore what really matters. The core values and the core most important life ingredients are being questioned and once again reevaluated. These short moments of fear become eye-openers and make me wake up.

    To be continued…

    Peace and Love,
    Kimmi Sandhu