Personal,  Thoughts

Hopelessness

Mental health issues have been rising during these past few months. I have personally been feeling okay since I have tried to focus all my energy on work and taking the driver’s license. There are moments when I am alone and I think about everything around me, where I feel a sense of hopelessness for the world and everything around me and within me. I don’t always know how to shake the feeling. It doesn’t always help to numb the thoughts by hanging out with friends or postpone the thoughts to another day. There is always a tiny thought that is tapping on my shoulder, and wanting some space in my mind. I don’t allow it to enter, but then the thought become larger in the background, just so I would notice it.

If one has to fight to be able to keep some people in your life, is it really worth it? Why can’t we get to see the people that mean the most more often? What’s the point of living when you can’t even get that? You can’t be in all places at the same time, I have tried. I have split myself mentally in so many pieces and I am still not enough in any of the places. I just keep missing the pieces I’ve left behind. Where will we all meet finally? In death? Why do we take out time on this Earth for granted? I have so many questions and I never want to say them out loud because they might scare people, but I wanted to write this here to unload some of the burden I have been bearing.

A piece of me is always missing. Should I stop searching for it? Is it ever going to heal the wounds? Who knows. Not me in this moment.

Peace and Love,
Kimmi Sandhu

One Comment

  • Manoj

    Very profound but so clearly put ! I feel the same and one thing that is so apt here is the ‘postponing ‘ of sad thought for another day or trying to defer it by temporary diversion through friends or relaxing activities . The fact is -something which truly matters to us and bothers us ( say betrayal by someone really really close or loss of a near one ) are emotions which have to be dealt with , sweeping them under the carpet by diversions gives them more power to trouble us later . Law of action – reaction works here – the more these thoughts are not dealt with and suppressed the more they rise within us to trouble us .
    Your writings are imbued with soulful spirituality – your a seeker and should find all your answers within ! Pls keep writing for humbler lesser mortals for me to find some answers in here

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