• Inspiration,  Personal,  Spirituality,  Thoughts

    What is our meaning?

    What is giving us meaning in our lives? Is it the strive for a career, near and dear ones, children or something beyond that, a faith or religion? Why is it so difficult to find the meaning and why does it matter to us so much? It’s a question that always keeps coming back to me. I contemplate on it and meditate on it but still come up with different answers each time. At times it can be hard to find the meaning when you feel down and depressed without light in sight. It’s funny how it can either be hormones playing a game with our brain or thoughts spiral in circles. Either way, it’s super difficult to do anything else than to rest, sleep and try to be kind to yourself and hope the day after is better. Those days it’s hard to find the meaning of life, why we are here on this earth. Music helps some days. At least to get the emotions out of the system. Some tracks make you feel so many emotions that it’s best to just listen to what your body and soul is trying to tell you. Through the music.

    I have pasted some links to some tracks that always have an impact on me. The last one is a Swedish song, which is a remake of a song from a musical from 1995, Kristina från Duvemåla (which I obviously haven’t seen since it was before my time). Haven’t seen the musical but the song spoke to me. It’s called “Du måste finnas”, which means you must exist or you must be real. For me it represents a belief in something spiritual, something higher than us, something universal. A God, perhaps. Whatever you may call it. I don’t listen to a lot of Swedish tracks these days, I used to do it more during my teenage years. This song is a song about belief and faith for me, something you might need to remind yourself of when times are rough or you have doubts that you can make it through trying times.

    Three books I’m trying to read these days are: “Mindful way out of depression”, “A new earth” by Eckhart Tolle, and “The Untethered soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself” by Michael Singer. The last one is a really great one which anyone should try to read, over and over, you find new things to focus on each time. I received it from a dear friend in India. It’s a highly spiritual book and will really take you on a journey within yourself, explore the vast divine within yourself.

    Howard Shore ft Enya – May it Be (link to Spotify, if it doesn’t work, search for it on Youtube)

    Hans Zimmer – Time

    Yiruma – River Flows in You

    Hang Massive’s music is pure magic. Just watch these two above videos

    Du måste finnas – Newkid (lyrics in English here)

  • Poetry,  Writing

    Poem: Flames

    Close my eyes
    Shivers spread down my spine
    All hair rise across my body
    Gust of air enters the room
    I feel alive in every inch
    Vibration from top to toe
    Dream has transmitted
    Through the universe

    Source of life
    Reuniting with spirit
    I am the moon
    You are the sun
    So hard to reach
    So hard to touch
    One mystical creature
    In two different spheres

    Oxygen fills me up
    Heart is beating louder
    Won’t let me sleep at night
    I’ll lay awake in bed
    Thoughts begin to wander
    Asking for some answers
    Why the flames are burning
    In a destination
    Far away from home
    Light years from us.

    Fire, Match, Smoke, Flame, Burn, Burning, Incandescent
  • Poetry,  Writing

    Poem: Azure

    I whispered to the universe
    I looked near and far
    For the ticket
    Unlocking the portal to your heart
    Losing myself in contemplation
    Gaze into the azure
    Searching for signs
    Floating away
    In the clouds above

    Expanding hearts
    Beat as one
    Illuminating, in flames
    One by one
    Each element flare up
    Light years from here
    Beyond earthly delights
    No less than an,
    Ecstatic eternal passion.

    Saturn, Landscape, Terrain, Water, Waters, Planet
  • Thoughts,  Writing

    Words that came to me…

    9:50pm 1st of March.

    my mind wanted to blurt out what was going on inside, so the words that came out without any order are written below. Within one minute this is what was inside, let’s dig deeper and see what we can come up with.. stay tuned.

    “Drown, bittersweet, joy, freedom, lucid, dreams, projection, dimension, astral, layers, nomadic, soul, travel, free, you, love, me, words, inspiration, galaxy, universe, infinite, possibility…”

    Peace and love,
    Kimmi

    Sitting in the window of a hotel room, beautiful spot to sit and write and be dreamy…
  • Dreams,  Spirituality,  travel

    Astral Projection and Lucid Dreaming.

    15 years later. This topic has found me again and I will tune in and listen to what the universe wants to tell me this time, when I am a little older and wiser. Let’s start a new journey to try to gaze inwards and try to find more answers to what’s within us and beyond us in different dimensions. This is the truth I have always felt inside of me to be true, but there hasn’t been the right words or situations to explain it all. Let’s see what happens this time around. I am open and ready for it.
    Sometimes when I write, words are flowing through me and they have been trying to explain these concepts. I don’t always feel that I am entirely aware of what is being said in the moment, until I read it all back. Who knows, perhaps that is what is called ‘flow’ or ‘inspiration’?

    Peace and Love,
    Kimmi

  • Personal,  Thoughts

    Frozen and Cold Dystopia

    The streets of Stockholm. The vibe amongst the people who try to pretend that things are just the same and that we’re not in any pandemic. When you try to embrace the same feeling and go out for a walk and take a coffee in a nearby coffee shop, you’re told to wait outside in the freezing cold before they can serve you. The rules are 3 people in the queue at the same time. I obey to the rules, of course. I am greeted and pay for my coffee and in the next moment find myself being thrown out of the place, because they don’t have enough seats for everyone and we have to “keep our distance”. They return the money and I wander onwards. Walking the cold streets of Stockholm as if we’re part of a dystopian world where nothing is the same anymore. I walk into several chemists to try to get hold of an adrenalin shot that I need for my anaphylactic allergy towards peanuts. After the third chemist within 30 min I give up. No one has my important shot in store, which I find very strange. My toes and fingers are starting to feel numb. What started off as a feeling of motivation and hopefulness and a sort of adventure when I left my house, is now starting to feel hopeless and in vain. I start feeling defeated by everything around me. I long for warmth all around me. Not only the weather to be warm, but the people around me. Tired of feeling this unwelcome and cold atmosphere around me. It’s so heart wrenching. I guess it’s better to go back home to bed, to the warmth and find the joy in my dreams instead. Let’s wake up another day and hope that the world is a better place. Let’s hope that people know how to act friendly and that there is no more pandemic in the world. Let’s hope that there is warmth in people’s hearts. That’s what I hope for.

    Peace and Love,
    Kimmi Sandhu

  • Personal,  Thoughts

    What’s been going on lately?

    It’s been such a long time since I checked in here and I am very sorry about that. Last year and the start of this year has been a little crazy to say the least. I think I can speak for the whole world’s population for once and say that most people would agree with that.

    At the end of last year I left for Gothenburg to spend time with my family and meet a couple of friends. It all went by so fast and in a haze because many were sick and we had to be careful about not making each other sick. I eventually did get really sick when I arrived in Åre (north of Sweden), the same evening. So probably I had the illness in my body and then got sick after some incubation days. When we arrived back in Stockholm, it had been some days since I had gotten sick and I noticed that I had lost the sense of taste and smell. There was kimchi we had made prior to leaving the flat and I couldn’t sense the aroma at all in the fridge. Now here’s the weird part. I was positive that this must be the ‘rona then, since what else can have this impact on the senses and the body.
    Ordered a self-test and they came the same day and picked it up from outside of the flat, the whole routine and process was very smooth in Stockholm and I am very grateful for that system that was put in place to make it easier for everyone to get tested as soon as possible.

    The results came back a couple of days later and it was negative. So I am not sure if it’s a false negative or if it really just was something entirely different, some other flu if that even is possible in Sweden right now.

    From the 18th of January my last course, the thesis course started at university. Normally I would commute to another city 1 hour away from here but due to Covid-19 situation they have made all lectures and seminars online. It was a little bit of a relief, because I wasn’t looking forward to sitting in a train with the current situation. The course is called Food Science and Nutrition. After I am finished with the thesis in June I will apply for a double bachelor’s degree in Informatics and Food Science. I am so excited for my new journey in this field. I have a great partner to write my thesis with and he’s also very much into the same areas of interest within the nutrition field, so it’s going to be so much fun when that part of the course begins this spring.

    I hope you are all doing well and staying safe. I will upload more poetry and posts like these in the nearest future, it’s been a little too long hiatus for my liking; but you can’t really control life, can you?

    Peace and Love,
    Kimmi

  • Poetry,  Writing

    Poem: Empty Smile

    In this darkness
    There is light
    Sun is rising
    Stop the tears
    No more sorrow
    Tomorrow’s coming
    A new beginning
    Don’t hide
    Behind your smile
    Embrace the pain
    Cling on to it,
    Last drop of hope
    Fate will bring you
    Closer to my destiny
    Don’t lose yourself
    In this crazy world

    Peace and Love,
    Kimmi Sandhu

  • Poetry,  Writing

    Poem: Halo

    I can see the light
    All around you
    A halo so bright
    Leading me to you
    All the way home
    To your warm embrace
    Your eyes tell a story
    Vibrant and electric
    About this connection
    This heavenly union

    Temptations
    Linger on my lips
    Words are spoken
    In the silent truth
    Thoughts left behind
    There is no doubt
    Where we would lead
    Which mountains we climb
    What roads we’ll take
    Trails are all written
    In the stars above
    Destined path like,
    The beauty and the beast

    Peace and Love,
    Kimmi Sandhu