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Poem: Heartbeats
Twist and turn
Fire burning
Foggy mind
Dream away
Intertwine
With me
Together
In a rhythm
Only we know
Heartbeats
Only we hear.Truth is behind
Your hidden smile
Follow me
In my dreams
Wake me up
From myself
Forget yourself
Devote your soul
Let me see
What crawls insidePeace and Love,
Kimmi
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Poem: Darkness falls
Floating away in the clouds above
Between the sun and moon
I dream of tomorrow
Where we’re destined to
Exist in the presence of
All of creation
When darkness falls
Universe is no more
Light years from here
You will be at peace
Resting in space.Peace and Love,
Kimmi
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Poem: Cotton clouds
Soak up all dreams
Cotton clouds above
Sweet like sugar
Leaves a bitter taste
When they’re gone
Fill the void
The hole in my soul
One by one
Illuminating my aura
Light up my flame
Fill my heart
Every heartbeat
Pumping harder
Just to feel a moment
To feel alivePeace and Love,
Kimmi
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Memories and Connections – Lost forever?
The connection and understanding between two people can only ever be known by those two persons. I have contemplated over the memories and shared moments between two people, what happens to them over time? What happens if one passes away, do the memories die with them? What happens if one loses the memory? Where do they go? Do the memories even make sense to anyone else but to the people sharing them? Is that the reason why we would want to create art and creations to capture the soul of the people around us? To honour the connections between souls. I don’t know. I just know that I cherish each moment with every single soul in my life that I share a pure connection with, and I hope that we are able to hold on to the memories the day they’re only left with one soul.
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What is our meaning?
What is giving us meaning in our lives? Is it the strive for a career, near and dear ones, children or something beyond that, a faith or religion? Why is it so difficult to find the meaning and why does it matter to us so much? It’s a question that always keeps coming back to me. I contemplate on it and meditate on it but still come up with different answers each time. At times it can be hard to find the meaning when you feel down and depressed without light in sight. It’s funny how it can either be hormones playing a game with our brain or thoughts spiral in circles. Either way, it’s super difficult to do anything else than to rest, sleep and try to be kind to yourself and hope the day after is better. Those days it’s hard to find the meaning of life, why we are here on this earth. Music helps some days. At least to get the emotions out of the system. Some tracks make you feel so many emotions that it’s best to just listen to what your body and soul is trying to tell you. Through the music.
I have pasted some links to some tracks that always have an impact on me. The last one is a Swedish song, which is a remake of a song from a musical from 1995, Kristina från Duvemåla (which I obviously haven’t seen since it was before my time). Haven’t seen the musical but the song spoke to me. It’s called “Du måste finnas”, which means you must exist or you must be real. For me it represents a belief in something spiritual, something higher than us, something universal. A God, perhaps. Whatever you may call it. I don’t listen to a lot of Swedish tracks these days, I used to do it more during my teenage years. This song is a song about belief and faith for me, something you might need to remind yourself of when times are rough or you have doubts that you can make it through trying times.
Three books I’m trying to read these days are: “Mindful way out of depression”, “A new earth” by Eckhart Tolle, and “The Untethered soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself” by Michael Singer. The last one is a really great one which anyone should try to read, over and over, you find new things to focus on each time. I received it from a dear friend in India. It’s a highly spiritual book and will really take you on a journey within yourself, explore the vast divine within yourself.
Howard Shore ft Enya – May it Be (link to Spotify, if it doesn’t work, search for it on Youtube)
Hans Zimmer – Time
Yiruma – River Flows in You
Hang Massive’s music is pure magic. Just watch these two above videos Du måste finnas – Newkid (lyrics in English here)
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Poem: Empty Smile
In this darkness
There is light
Sun is rising
Stop the tears
No more sorrow
Tomorrow’s coming
A new beginning
Don’t hide
Behind your smile
Embrace the pain
Cling on to it,
Last drop of hope
Fate will bring you
Closer to my destiny
Don’t lose yourself
In this crazy worldPeace and Love,
Kimmi Sandhu
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Poem: Irrfan Khan (RIP) 1967-2020
The legendary Indian actor Irrfan Khan passed away. This poem is dedicated to him.
I will miss you forever. Your films were magical to me. A lost girl looking for her belonging in this world. Her roots. Her version of India. You made me curious. I will forever be thankful to you for how your films have impacted me. They left me with an insatiable desire to be curious about my culture. My real culture. Not any made up culture I have grown up with.
RIP Irrfan.The way you came in
Swept across the country
The entire world of art
Your radiance
Insatiable creativity
Artistic acting
Powerful characteristic
Only viewed by us
Through the screen
Left in awe.
Piece by piece,
I opened up,
To a world
Of roots long lost
Pulled them up
With your help
Held them close
Tied a knot
For each time
You made an impact
Left an imprint
In my artistic heart.RIP Irrfan Khan.
Love always,
Kimmi Sandhu
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Poem: Goodbyes
Goodbyes.
These tiny moments
Reflecting parting of souls
Painful echos in our memory
Momentary small glitches
These evanescent seconds
Never reminiscing
Never recorded
In the abyss of our vast mindI conjure your silhouette
Inside of me
The scent of you
Tranquils my soul
In these exasperating times
Universe is reminding us
Once again
We look up at the sky
Clouds are waving down at me
Rays of sunshine
Embrace me
Comfort my soul
Just like you
Used to do.Peace and Love,
Kimmi Sandhu
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My roots | Mumbai Diaries
My roots have long been malnourished and fragile, protected against outer influence. I have found my way back to watering them and slowly but surely they are growing stronger and establishing ground in places I never could have imagined. The journey to getting here has been long and lonely. When the tree is starting to blossom, not many would know the effort and pain it took to grow the tree so fertile so that flowers can bloom. The result can be intimidating just like inner growth. I didn’t realise what I have been missing in my life; a sense of belonging. I have always stood out and been the rebel for so long, that it becomes your identity. It becomes what you expect because there is no room for just being you. When you find your way back to your roots, you’ll never look back again. I wish I could have told this to my confused and suicidal teenage self. Things wouldn’t have had to be this hard.
To be continued…
Peace and love,
Kimmi Sandhu
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Lumie light therapy lamp
I rarely write about products on this blog, but today I am making an exception. I have struggled with severe winter depression half of my life (or more), which is also called SAD (seasonal affective disorder). It occurs to many people living in the darkest northern hemisphere due to the lack of light during daytime hours. The symptoms of winter depression or SAD is usually lethargy, tiredness, anxiety and depression. It slowly creeps in on you during the autumn months and when November hits I am usually so down in the dumps that I don’t know who I am anymore. Can anyone else relate to this?
I went to a salt spa with light therapy a few weeks ago, a session that lasted 45 min. The room was covered in rock salt crystals and the walls were filled with several light therapy lamps that were giving off “normal daylight” which one would get during the summer when it’s sunny. Walking out from that session, I had no expectations. It was dark and gloomy outside, it was even raining. I felt like the day had just begun and to my surprise I felt a bit happy (afraid to make that huge claim when I am not used to it). The effect of this lasted a couple of days, when I noticed myself not feeling as tired in the evening as I used to. It was too good to be true and I didn’t dare to connect it to the light therapy at all.
A week passed by and I did my research into light therapy lamps to buy and have at home. One side of me thought to myself, why should I have to go to this extreme just to get some daylight. But the reviews on the websites were telling me otherwise, they were all raving the lamp. I ordered it directly. I have named him, La Luz.
I sat with La Luz every day for 30-60min a day, sometimes when meditating and sometimes just having it on while I was on my computer. I didn’t think that anything actually happened within me at first. After the first week of using it constantly, I can honestly tell that it had made me changed. I felt lighter, not as depressed and lethargic as before. I had the energy to be awake much longer in the evenings and the energy lasted much longer.
I am just sharing this here in case anyone else is feeling the same and wants to give it a chance. Do your research and find the lamp that will suit you the best. I chose one from the brand Lumie, but I’d assume there are several other out there.
Who would have thought that light makes such a difference in our bodies, that it can totally change our moods?
Peace and Love,
Kimmi Sandhu