Personal,  Thoughts

Bugs and nasty phobias :(

Who do you turn to in the middle of the night at 3 ó clock when everything is a mess? Or in my case, since I have a phobia against all kinds of insects; who do I ask to come running like a knight in shining armour to my rescue whenever I need it? Am I selfish for thinking that someone would do that for me? Or is it unreasonable to even imagine it? I guess having friends that live nearby would be the only reason it would work.

The reason why I’m thinking of these things in the middle of the night is because I got so scared this evening from a nasty big bug that came flying in to my kitchen with 6 or 8 legs, and scary as hell. I almost got a panic attack from it, all there by myself. First I get totally scared, then I start shaking and try to deal with it. Thereafter I try to reason with myself that I should do something about it, and try to make it go away. But I usually choose the escape route, which is either to call someone or get someone to help me get rid of it or to just run away and come back when someone can help me. It’s such a childish behaviour and I know that, but right in the moment of all craziness, it just seems like a good solution to me. I almost get mad at people for not dropping everything they do and come over and help me and comfort me, but I know when I’m back in a reasonable state of mind that it’s not what I should expect. I will never get passed the issue if I just run away from it or let other people deal with the issue. I’m a lot calmer now than I was just 20 min ago; writing this off has helped me.

Peace out,
Kimmi

PS. I threw a towel at it and a plate on top of it, so now it’s lying there until someone will help me tomorrow… I suck at dealing with my phobias..

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