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Silent scream | Mumbai Diaries
The silent crack between my teeth after I had just bitten into a peanut that was inside a Punjabi Samosa, was sounding louder in my head than to anyone else. I knew what was wrong. The apparently nut-free samosa had deadly peanuts inside of them. I was sitting by the palm trees along the beach near Marine Drive at a café. So far away from any hospital and so far away from knowing what I would do if anything severe happened. Million thoughts always run through my head in these moments, and it might sound like a cliche but it’s very true. I believe I am not the only nut allergic person who have these near-death aha moments.
– What if this is it? This is the moment when I die.
– Do the people I love know that I love them? Near, far and everyone in between. I’m not even close to being good at expressing my love for certain people in my life and what they mean to me.
After such an experience I become very emotional and mellow, as if I don’t know anymore what really matters. The core values and the core most important life ingredients are being questioned and once again reevaluated. These short moments of fear become eye-openers and make me wake up.To be continued…
Peace and Love,
Kimmi Sandhu -
TCKs/CCKs – My Experience
I came across this term a few months back, perhaps 6 months ago and I’ve spent some time processing it in the back of my head ever since. TCK or CCK. Third culture kid or cross culture kid.
Third culture kids (TCK) are people raised in a culture other than their parents’ or the culture of the country named on their passport (where they are legally considered native) for a significant part of their early development years. They are often exposed to a greater variety of cultural influences. The term can refer to both adults and children, as the term “kid” points more to an individual’s formative or developmental years.
Due to the multi cultural upbringing of these people they grow up feeling in between cultures and always longing for some global surrounding where they can feel at home. That’s the theme for me at least; you never or rarely feel at home because of this endless rootlessness and cultural instability. You might feel some issues with bonding with people that are in the “home” culture due to this mixture of cultures that you’ve grown up with.
The classic scenario are the people who have had parents that due to their job or similar situations needed to move to different countries very often throughout their childhood. This leads to the mixed cultural feeling but also a sense of openness towards people of all kinds of backgrounds, because that’s what you have grown up with and gotten used to. Another classic outcome of this type of upbringing is that you always feel more at home when you’re on your way to somewhere else. Perhaps travelling would be a huge interest or hobby.
There was one description of why this phenomenon occurs for some children and why they cannot let it go when they’re adults. It’s a void in the heart that is hard to fill. The child might not get a proper chance to say goodbye to one culture and/or country and move on to live in another, you won’t know which one to adapt to and you continue living in confusion.
When reading about this and hearing different TED talks about this topic something finally clicked for me. I felt understood for the first time in ages. Understood for my rootlessness and why I don’t necessarily feel at home anywhere unless I’m travelling or headed somewhere with a more international environment. Some may call it to escape your everyday life, but for me I just can’t imagine being in one place for long. It’s as if I have an inner voice telling me to get up and move, get new perspectives and vibes from new places and dimensions. This doesn’t necessarily mean a physical place. I can feel better by just spending a long while daydreaming about being somewhere else and building stories in my head. I am a Pisces after all.
What’s your experience with being a TCK or CCK? Do you have any similar experiences?
Peace and love,
Kimmi Sandhu
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Poem: Peace and Harmony
The invisible pain
Building up inside
The tears flowing
Boiling through
The deepest well
Will we ever be?
Known and free
Will we ever know,
peace and harmony?Flowing back and forth
Two sides of a coin
Tides and flows
Moments in time
Just like the whispers,
I call out carefully
In the moonlit nightPeace and love,
Kimmi Madeline
Instagram: moon_over_mumbai -
Poem: Memory Lane
It’s hard to be stuck in a moment
In between memory lane
Thoughts and dreams go hand in hand
Come on in and open your heart
I just want to see the smile
One more time.
Years pass us by in an instant
We never look back and question why
Always running forward to the future
Just stop and breathe
Why the rush
We can catch up soon enough
Eventually.
Peace and Love,
Kimmi Sandhu
Instagram: moon_over_mumbai
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Communication and Connection
In the end it’s the tiny little things that matter for us and makes us feel understood and loved. All we ever want is to be understood I believe. When we’re not getting the response we’re looking for when we tell about our day, about that amazing trip we made or a tiny detail about some delicious food we’ve tried, slowly but surely we forget to share. When we don’t share our excitement with the ones we love, slowly but surely our passions wither away. Unknowingly.
All you need to do is to listen more to people around you, what are they really saying behind the stories and the words. There’s a long lost child’s perspective, and children get hurt for the tiniest littlest things. That we carry on throughout our adulthood without always knowing. Just be mindful. Listen. The connection will come naturally.
If you can’t show this sort of compassion to the ones around you, you’re not really paying attention to what’s really going on under the surface. What’s true. What really matters in the end.
Kimmi Niroopinder
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Poem: Higher Frequency
I hold my breath
One more time
Sending thoughts through the sky
Wondering why
You came to see me
In higher frequency
Of our love, so divine.Kimmi Madeline ?
Instagram: moon_over_mumbai
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Poem: One Winter Day
One evening, one winter day
When we met years ago.
Lucid dreams tell me,
Pathways we could go.
When space and time align,
You would be my sign.– Kimmi Madeline
Instagram: moon_over_mumbai
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Poem: Silent night
Poem from: 2010-10-17
Standing here in the cold
Watching the silent night
all alone
I remember standing here
in your embrace
One summer night,
seems far away
but left me with only you
in my heart
oh, so trueIn your eyes I can see
the love between us
is meant to be
all I do is think of you
when the night creeps in on me
I can’t help but to think
you are here in your dreamsI have hopes and some dreams
of you and me to find the strength
and carry on but not apart
just say the words and
take my hand
I wait for you
to make things right
I’ll wait for you
to take the step..-Kimmi Madeline
Instagram: moon_over_mumbai
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Poem: Floating Deeper
Poem from 2011-05-24
Moments of deception,
Fill the void of tomorrow,
Last night was just a dream,
Today is another day of hope,
Trembling towards a glimpse of joyWhen our eyes meet
I can see your soul
you are such a mystery
cannot resist it, it’s dragging me in,
You’re undressing me, without a touchDeeper we float in the ocean of love,
What is you and what is me?
Can’t control this much longer
You have unlocked my hidden truth
from a life spent without youWhile you are digging in so deep
The sound of my heart is echoing
emotions are becoming so fervent
cannot hide them any longer
breathing in and breathing out
to the sound of your beating heartInstagram: moon_over_mumbai
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Poem: Creatures of the sea.
Poem: Creatures of the sea.
One thought. One dream. One soul.
You can hear my voice
Deep within my soul
Calling out your name
Swimming to the shore
We are together. As one.Oceans apart,
You can still hear me
Words are drowning in,
Telepathic waves,
My heart is yearning for
Peace of mind.Connecting spirits
No matter the distance
No matter the time
We are always aligned
Truly divineCreatures of the sea.