Inspiration
This is the page from where you can find all the inspiration stories, thoughts and quotes.
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What is our meaning?
What is giving us meaning in our lives? Is it the strive for a career, near and dear ones, children or something beyond that, a faith or religion? Why is it so difficult to find the meaning and why does it matter to us so much? It’s a question that always keeps coming back to me. I contemplate on it and meditate on it but still come up with different answers each time. At times it can be hard to find the meaning when you feel down and depressed without light in sight. It’s funny how it can either be hormones playing a game with our brain or thoughts spiral in circles. Either way, it’s super difficult to do anything else than to rest, sleep and try to be kind to yourself and hope the day after is better. Those days it’s hard to find the meaning of life, why we are here on this earth. Music helps some days. At least to get the emotions out of the system. Some tracks make you feel so many emotions that it’s best to just listen to what your body and soul is trying to tell you. Through the music.
I have pasted some links to some tracks that always have an impact on me. The last one is a Swedish song, which is a remake of a song from a musical from 1995, Kristina från Duvemåla (which I obviously haven’t seen since it was before my time). Haven’t seen the musical but the song spoke to me. It’s called “Du måste finnas”, which means you must exist or you must be real. For me it represents a belief in something spiritual, something higher than us, something universal. A God, perhaps. Whatever you may call it. I don’t listen to a lot of Swedish tracks these days, I used to do it more during my teenage years. This song is a song about belief and faith for me, something you might need to remind yourself of when times are rough or you have doubts that you can make it through trying times.
Three books I’m trying to read these days are: “Mindful way out of depression”, “A new earth” by Eckhart Tolle, and “The Untethered soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself” by Michael Singer. The last one is a really great one which anyone should try to read, over and over, you find new things to focus on each time. I received it from a dear friend in India. It’s a highly spiritual book and will really take you on a journey within yourself, explore the vast divine within yourself.
Howard Shore ft Enya – May it Be (link to Spotify, if it doesn’t work, search for it on Youtube)
Hans Zimmer – Time
Yiruma – River Flows in You
Hang Massive’s music is pure magic. Just watch these two above videos Du måste finnas – Newkid (lyrics in English here)
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Some Pinterest findings… #poems
These snippets of writing spoke to me while scrolling through Pinterest the other day. I don’t often open that app, but when I do, I love to be engulfed in all writings from different online writers and poets.
/Kimmi
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Why do we Romanticise Suffering and Darkness
Artist, poets and creative professions. Everyone equally seduced by the suffering that entails by walking the creative path. We all look up to the tormented artists and emotional wrecks that talk of decadence and painful suffering through their art. Why do we view these bad habits as something to draw inspiration from rather than question them? Do our souls need to bleed to be able to create art? Is it required to suffer emotional traumas to be able to create good and enticing art? I would like to explore this a little more in detail. Let’s view both sides of this story and unfold it.
Everywhere around us we see the people immersed in the creative world to be in a whirlwind of suffering and pain that they don’t seem to be able to get out of. It almost looks as if the art is only to be created if there is pain in their lives or if they have gone through hardships. The art feeds off the pain and tears, or so it seems at least to the outsider. One can almost think that this art of chasing after pain is what is needed to be inspired to create good and interesting art. The poetry is almost best accompanied with a dose of depression and sadness. If you have some anti-depressant pills and alcohol you can throw them into the game as well, for good measure. Jokes aside, this is the reality for many highly successful artists. The poet is in his best form a sensitive and tormented soul that wants to end the pain by engaging in bad habits such as drinking and getting into drug addictions. Is this the stereotypical image we have of a good poet or artist? Anyone who has a passion for a creative subject will agree that this image is what is often looked up to as being real and deserving of praise when intelligent art is created as a result. I have long also lived with that belief myself, and can still, at times, romanticise a little bit of a pessimistic outlook and painful struggle in life. It’s what creates the spice in our poems and writing. We feed off of the inspiration that comes from an emotional hardship. However, is it truly the only right way towards creating art and finding inspiration?
I find that whenever I go through strong emotions I am usually not able to create anything creative in those moments. It usually requires me to get a little bit of perspective and distance from the situation or the emotions to be able to tap into that inspiration. Whether it is positive and happy emotions or tearful and sad emotions; I tend to approach it all the same. A little bit of distance creates the magic and what gives me inspiration.
Why are we letting ourselves be seduced by suffering and pain? Can we not try to tap into our love and strength and create from that power within ourselves?
It is possible to live a decent life when you’re not always on the verge of feeling suicidal to create beautiful art. We can inspire other people to follow this behaviour and be creative in new ways.
Peace and love,
Kimmi Sandhu
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Intensive Driving Course 2020 | Göteborg, Sweden
Driving. It’s a skill one must learn to really know what it means to be free. Completely free to travel anywhere and anytime. The journey towards taking the license in Sweden has been a long and bumpy road since 2012. I kept on pushing myself to overcome my struggles with eyesight after laser surgery to finally be on the final road to actually taking the license. It’s never going to be too late. There have been people in ages ranging from 18 to 55 in my classes. You learn about yourself and how you react to certain situations and stress while doing the intensive driving classes. Let’s dig deep into what it meant for me, especially to be back in my hometown Göteborg on the West coast of Sweden to drive everyday for two weeks. It’s not only been fun to drive, it’s been challenging, strengthening, exciting but also melancholic. Let get into why.
The driving school is close to where my parents live, it’s the same neighborhood I have grown up in and lived in up until I was 19. The classes started with a session where I was to show my current skills in driving so we started off at a parking lot and drove out onto the roads in the area. It went pretty fine from the get go. I only needed to adjust to a new car which I wasn’t used to drive in. A Volvo XC40, Diesel. Much easier to find the pull position and the different gears were also easier to adapt to. This is the car I will use on the day of my driving test, which is currently dated to 7th of September. If all goes well and I pass the other practical and theoretical tests I will go on and do the test in Sept.
When driving through every single street of where I grew up and close to each of my three first schools was more emotional and affecting me more than I had expected to. I only chose to drive with this school and this area because it’s convenient and close to home when I stay in Göteborg, little did I know that it was going to take me on a journey down the memories and feelings of the past. The further into the first week we got, the more we started to drive downtown and in areas I hadn’t been to in years, since I last lived in this city. We were joking about the fact that I am sightseeing by car in my own town and it was really a much nicer experience to drive this course than I could have ever imagined. I thought it would only be difficult and hard, but it’s been equally as rewarding for my mental health. Pushing myself when there have been some days when things started turning backwards and not going as I thought, how you learn to let go of mistakes you do while driving so it doesn’t affect the rest of the driving. The most impressive thing was how the driving instructor without knowing was able to know how I was struggling with letting go and putting way too high expectations on myself which were causing unnecessary hurdles that I needed to crush before I can succeed. He would sometimes just tell me when I went quiet and didn’t say a word, “just let go of that bad past experience, I can see that you’re going over it in your head and it will affect your driving, just let it go.”
It was amazing to see how someone is able to read me so well without knowing me.
Towards the end of the driving course there were just a couple of incidents where I wasn’t always able to think of all the different things at the same time. Driving into a highway where the roads are merging and I need to get into one of the lanes while there’s already traffic on the road and coming in with a speed of 70 km/h. I almost crashed into a car because everyone kept changing their lane at that spot and things were happening too fast at a very fast speed. I kept on being hard on myself after that and wasn’t able to let it go as fast as the other things, so I had to take a deep breath, keep driving and talk about other things to take my mind off it. He was telling me that I need to stop expecting myself to become a perfect driver and that I am putting these super ambitious expectations that no one can meet on myself. I felt as if he saw through so many of my past struggles that I have been through, not only in this situation but also when I study or work. I just needed to be more nice towards myself and what I have already accomplished. Every time he asked me how I felt it has gone today with the driving I was always critical over the tiniest things.
All in all, after two weeks my skills are on a level where I only need to drive more on my own at home for some weeks to let it all sink in. Hopefully I will get to the level which is required for a final practical test in the beginning of September. Let’s keep fingers crossed!
Peace and Love,
Kimmi Sandhu
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A ‘New Normal’? No, Thank you.
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Just a reminder…
Just heard this song again after some years, and it sparked an emotion in me that I recognise a lot. We need to stop being so hard on ourselves for not being enough. I need to remind myself every now and then. It’s not only about vanity and looks, it’s about people not recognising you for being yourself and doing your best even in the hardest times. It’s easy to judge from afar, but you can never know what’s going on in someone’s life and how they are dealing with their hardships. We walk around with a smile on our faces even in times of pain. Sometimes we just need to be able to take off that mask, and be free.
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I am in Love | Mumbai Diaries
If there are any places that could seduce you with their vibe and attractiveness, it would be Mumbai. I am in love with this town, more than ever before. I feel like a hummingbird flying freely around in this mad town; the place where everyone is equally longing for this escapist feeling. It’s hard to describe it to anyone who isn’t feeling this either. You will either love it or dislike it here. The smell, the noises, the rush, the heat and the amount of people everywhere. The pathway along Marine Drive is crazy in the evenings and the vibe is so hard to find elsewhere. Sitting by the water and seeing the skyline is magical. I don’t know why it is, but I feel like it is a place like home. The people who know me well knows how hard it is to feel at home somewhere, it’s rare.
To be continued…
Peace and Love,
Kimmi Sandhu
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Lumie light therapy lamp
I rarely write about products on this blog, but today I am making an exception. I have struggled with severe winter depression half of my life (or more), which is also called SAD (seasonal affective disorder). It occurs to many people living in the darkest northern hemisphere due to the lack of light during daytime hours. The symptoms of winter depression or SAD is usually lethargy, tiredness, anxiety and depression. It slowly creeps in on you during the autumn months and when November hits I am usually so down in the dumps that I don’t know who I am anymore. Can anyone else relate to this?
I went to a salt spa with light therapy a few weeks ago, a session that lasted 45 min. The room was covered in rock salt crystals and the walls were filled with several light therapy lamps that were giving off “normal daylight” which one would get during the summer when it’s sunny. Walking out from that session, I had no expectations. It was dark and gloomy outside, it was even raining. I felt like the day had just begun and to my surprise I felt a bit happy (afraid to make that huge claim when I am not used to it). The effect of this lasted a couple of days, when I noticed myself not feeling as tired in the evening as I used to. It was too good to be true and I didn’t dare to connect it to the light therapy at all.
A week passed by and I did my research into light therapy lamps to buy and have at home. One side of me thought to myself, why should I have to go to this extreme just to get some daylight. But the reviews on the websites were telling me otherwise, they were all raving the lamp. I ordered it directly. I have named him, La Luz.
I sat with La Luz every day for 30-60min a day, sometimes when meditating and sometimes just having it on while I was on my computer. I didn’t think that anything actually happened within me at first. After the first week of using it constantly, I can honestly tell that it had made me changed. I felt lighter, not as depressed and lethargic as before. I had the energy to be awake much longer in the evenings and the energy lasted much longer.
I am just sharing this here in case anyone else is feeling the same and wants to give it a chance. Do your research and find the lamp that will suit you the best. I chose one from the brand Lumie, but I’d assume there are several other out there.
Who would have thought that light makes such a difference in our bodies, that it can totally change our moods?
Peace and Love,
Kimmi Sandhu -
Piku|Hindi Movie – My Thoughts
“Apni roots unko agar ukhad do, toh kya bachega..”
– Piku.
I have watched this Hindi film around three times in total. I rarely watch a film more than one time unless it’s a film that has left some impact on me. It’s a very simple film with many layers of importance and deeper meaning that really show when you start looking deeper at what is happening.
The whole aspect of accepting your roots and where you really come from, to be at peace with that is necessary to be able to live a full and complete life. She struggled a lot with the idea whether to keep the house in Calcutta or not when her dad will pass away. When Irfan Khan’s character tells her the sentence that’s written above, which roughly translates to: If you rip out the roots, what will there be left..
I got shivers down my spine, and felt instantly very emotional, because of how I could relate that so well with my relation to India and my roots. I started crying, at first without really knowing why. It’s been a very rocky road to get to this state of mind, for me to accept and be open and fine with being multicultural. Today vs me 10 years ago are entirely different people, and I am so thankful for that. I am ever grateful for being able to say that I enjoy these layers of my roots and accepting them, not ripping them out and hope that there would be something left. I can’t believe how one is suppose to build anything without the roots.
Highly recommend the film to anyone who like an Indian cultural drama which brings up any everyday topics in a both light manner but also to end it with a lot of different emotions. It is truly a roller coaster ride in your inner world, especially if you’re anything like me and have had struggles with acceptance of roots and a mixed background. I do believe that it might only be fully appreciated by someone who understands the quirks of growing up in an entirely Desi environment.
Peace and Love,
Kimmi Madeline
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Malala is my inspiration | Women empowerment
I just finished watching the documentary about Malala. The Nobel Peace prize winner. I’m in awe of her mental strength and determination. I am so inspired by her and she reminded me about my fight for women’s freedom. We easily take these things for granted here in Sweden but the struggle is hard for those that are from a similar background. Religion and culture go hand in hand many times and we’re affected by centuries of treating women as less than men. Or not get the same rights to education or freedom in life similarly. I’ve been crying so much throughout this documentary, not only because of how much she affected my emotions but also because she reminded me of a side of myself that I’ve kept quiet for so long. My inner voice was silent but the tears were real. They don’t lie and they’re never quiet.
