Silent scream | Mumbai Diaries
The silent crack between my teeth after I had just bitten into a peanut that was inside a Punjabi Samosa, was sounding louder in my head than to anyone else. I knew what was wrong. The apparently nut-free samosa had deadly peanuts inside of them. I was sitting by the palm trees along the beach near Marine Drive at a café. So far away from any hospital and so far away from knowing what I would do if anything severe happened. Million thoughts always run through my head in these moments, and it might sound like a cliche but it’s very true. I believe I am not the only nut allergic person who have these near-death aha moments.
– What if this is it? This is the moment when I die.
– Do the people I love know that I love them? Near, far and everyone in between. I’m not even close to being good at expressing my love for certain people in my life and what they mean to me.
After such an experience I become very emotional and mellow, as if I don’t know anymore what really matters. The core values and the core most important life ingredients are being questioned and once again reevaluated. These short moments of fear become eye-openers and make me wake up.
To be continued…
Peace and Love,
Walking through life
One step at a time
Feeling lost and faithless
How do I explain
Why I don’t feel the same
Like I used to feel
Coming from a place
So far away from home
The question still arise
Where is my true home
And who are my friends
Who are my foes?
Will you be by my side when
I discover my roots
My true belonging
To find my way back
Since my teenage years I’ve always been very interested in knowing people from all over the world via the Internet communities. It used to be so friendly to create great friendships over the web through forums and online communities back in the days. I feel as though those times have changed and it’s not as simple to get to know people with same type of interests as you since forums are not as popular as they used to. Now we have Youtube and we have Facebook groups, they fill the function but they are not as personal.
I remember being part of mailing lists for certain subjects that are so specific that you almost require people that have sought out this place to feel a real and honest connection. It was true and pure. I quite miss those times sometimes or feel the need to try to recreate them in other ways through blogs, Youtube and other social media.
Some of my deepest connections have been with people I’ve gotten to know online through common interests or kept chatting with online to remain friends despite living in different ends of the world. Maybe it’s because we really truly get to know the person’s inner core of what they value and what they want and how their true personality is, without the need for superficiality. What is better than a real deep conversation that spans over subjects from heaven to earth?
What if we didn’t have the means to be able to communicate during the time we’re not in the same place on Earth? We wouldn’t be able to stay in touch or actually know the people anymore, because time would have made the connections fade away. That’s why I’ve always appreciated the technology that allows us to keep in contact with friends and family all over the world.
I know reality is far from the tv-series Friends and maybe that’s a very unrealistic way of living and knowing your friends, but I wonder how it would be if everyone were in the same city. Being spread all over the world is also a barrier to really keep the contact frequent and close. Despite all of this I still believe that if you can get through these barriers and still manage to find the time and make the effort to stay connected, I think these types of friendships are stronger than others.
There is, unfortunately, these days, not so easy to find deep connections with people. It seems as though the everyday life is only able to focus on the surface. Rushing through life without stopping to reflect, think and to connect with others – that’s a shame.
So stop for a second and just appreciate those you care about around you, and spend time with them, be present with them, listen and leave your other thoughts behind.